Tag Archives: writer

Exciting Career Change – Part Two

Posted: April 2, 2015 at 12:59 pm

 

You may have realized by now that the announcement of my new job with the Vancouver Canucks was a fiendishly clever April Fools joke. Some of you may have received my blog later than noon yesterday, which is technically cheating, but I had a problem with my website.

First off, I would like to thank many (surprisingly many) of you for your heartfelt congratulations – it’s quite a compliment that you actually thought the Canucks would hire me. Maybe you forgot all the nasty things I’ve been writing about the legal profession lately. Don’t feel too badly if you were fooled; many of my law school classmates, who should know that I’m not smart enough to be the General Counsel of anything, called to say they always knew I could do it and that writing thing was never going to amount to anything anyway.

The person most disappointed to learn that this was a joke was my mother, who thought her wayward son had finally gotten a real job.

My favourite response came from my friend Carlo, who said, and I quote, “You are NOT giving up on your dream…….so this must be an April fools joke…..” I didn’t think Carlo knew me that well, but he was right. I am not quitting until my book is finished and I’ve strong-armed every one of you into buying it. And after all Carol has been through, she would never let me give up at this stage anyway. Onward!

Let’s Try This Again!

Posted: April 1, 2015 at 1:01 pm

My website domain expired yesterday, so you may not have been able to access today’s blog. It’s all fixed now (I hope). Let’s try it again!

 

Exciting Career Change!

As a loyal reader of my blog, you’ll have an inkling of the struggle I have had in completing my memoir. I’ve been at it for over two years, and the current re-write has taken its toll. As my editor told me, I’m not a bad writer, but what I’ve produced so far is such a mess that it does not constitute a book. I am facing another year or two of restructuring and re-writing, before I even attempt to find an agent or a publisher (with no guarantees that any agent or publisher will accept me). Therefore, for the sake of what’s left of my pride, my sanity, and my marriage (long-suffering Carol can only take so much), I’ve reluctantly decided to put my book aside and go back to practicing law.

I know this seems like a step backward for me…it’s also not that simple to un-retire from the Law Society of BC. Since I’ve been out of law for three years, I have to pay re-instatement fees, take remedial education classes and re-write my bar exams. That may seem onerous, but I have been offered an opportunity that will make it all worthwhile.

You may not know that a number of years back I had a billionaire client, a bit of an eccentric, but we got along famously.  I recently bumped into him at a charity event. He reminded me how poorly I took it when I learned that the deal his family made to buy the Vancouver Canucks and Grizzlies from John McCaw had fallen through. That was about ten years ago. But my billionaire had good news….he was just finishing the final touches on his purchase of the Canucks from Francesco Aquilini. Something about Aquilini’s expensive divorce forcing him to give up the team. Anyway, my billionaire asked me to become the Canucks’ new General Counsel. I could never say no to this job; the guys on my beer league hockey team would kill me. I rate this as the best lawyer job in the country. I should have my requirements with the Law Society cleared up in time for the 2015-2016 season. I’m not sure how many tickets I’ll have to spread around, but I’m sure I can arrange something for my loyal readers. Go Canucks!

Exciting Career Change

Posted: April 1, 2015 at 9:51 am

 

As a loyal reader of my blog, you’ll have an inkling of the struggle I have had in completing my memoir. I’ve been at it for over two years, and the current re-write has taken its toll. As my editor told me, I’m not a bad writer, but what I’ve produced so far is such a mess that it does not constitute a book. I am facing another year or two of restructuring and re-writing, before I even attempt to find an agent or a publisher (with no guarantees that any agent or publisher will accept me). Therefore, for the sake of what’s left of my pride, my sanity, and my marriage (long-suffering Carol can only take so much), I’ve reluctantly decided to put my book aside and go back to practicing law.

I know this seems like a step backward for me…it’s also not that simple to un-retire from the Law Society of BC. Since I’ve been out of law for three years, I have to pay re-instatement fees, take remedial education classes and re-write my bar exams. That may seem onerous, but I have been offered an opportunity that will make it all worthwhile.

You may not know that a number of years back I had a billionaire client, a bit of an eccentric, but we got along famously.  I recently bumped into him at a charity event. He reminded me how poorly I took it when I learned that the deal his family made to buy the Vancouver Canucks and Grizzlies from John McCaw had fallen through. That was about ten years ago. But my billionaire had good news….he was just finishing the final touches on his purchase of the Canucks from Francesco Aquilini. Something about Aquilini’s expensive divorce forcing him to give up the team. Anyway, my billionaire asked me to become the Canucks’ new General Counsel. I could never say no to this job; the guys on my beer league hockey team would kill me. I rate this as the best lawyer job in the country. I should have my requirements with the Law Society cleared up in time for the 2015-2016 season. I’m not sure how many tickets I’ll have to spread around, but I’m sure I can arrange something for my loyal readers. Go Canucks!

Canine Counsel

Posted: March 24, 2015 at 10:11 am

My most off-the-wall professional moment occurred when I was a student working in a law firm, not yet a lawyer. A senior partner in the firm asked me to represent a client at a hearing before the disciplinary committee of the Canadian Kennel Club. The client was a 76-year-old woman. She was a dog show judge who got into an argument with a dog owner who didn’t like the score earned by his poodle at a big competition. The disagreement escalated, then quickly ended when my client (the 76-year-old woman), grabbed a folding chair and whacked the dog owner on the head, like in a fake wrestling match. At the hearing I successfully argued that my client had been provoked and should be reinstated as a dog show judge. My triumph was bittersweet because thereafter the running joke in the law firm was that I was the expert “canine counsel.”

What weird job have you had?

Hit the Roof

Posted: March 16, 2015 at 2:05 pm

 

During my college years, I had a job one summer as a general labourer with a shady one-man contractor operation. The contractor carried his whole construction business in a rented station wagon, the kind with fake wood on the sides, stuffed to the roof with tools and discarded coffee cups and McDonald’s wrappers. He would accept any construction job, whether he had the skill or not. He convinced one homeowner that we were roofers.

We arrived at the job to find the bundled shingles sitting on a palette on the driveway. The paper packages were damp from the previous night’s rain. With the contractor on the roof, my job was to carry each four-foot-long package up a fully-extended ladder, so long that it bowed in the middle under my weight and that of the shingles. And I don’t like ladders. The only way to carry the shingles was over one shoulder, which meant that I had only one hand free to hold the ladder…..except when I moved to another rung, at which point no hands were holding the ladder. The weight of the shingles caused the package to drape over my shoulder in an inverted “U.” As the packaging was wet, it split as I went up the ladder each time, making the shingles more unwieldy. The ripped packaging also exposed the sandpaper coating of the shingles, which rubbed my shoulder raw. By the end of the first day my right shoulder was an open, bloody sore.

At the end of the second day, the contractor asked me to take down one of the ladders leaning against the highest part of the house. I was having difficulty with the rope-pulley system used to collapse extension ladders, and asked for help.

“I’m busy,” he said from the roof. “I’m sure you can do it yourself.”

“Really, I don’t think I can do it,” I said, feeling like a wuss. “It’s fully-extended, and kinda heavy.”

“I’m on the roof, Bill. Just do it yourself.”

Predictably, I pulled on the rope and lost control of the ladder. As it fell, it scraped along the side of the house, describing a perfect arc, etched into the metal siding. To put an exclamation on the damage, at the end of its plummet, the ladder cleanly sheared off the outdoor lamp above the side door of the house.

I didn’t go back the third day.

What stupid job have you had? Tell me in the comment section below.