This Could Never Happen In France

Posted: July 19, 2016 at 7:30 pm

A bear ripped open a Lexus like a can opener two Saturdays ago in West Vancouver. The Lexus's security system couldn't mask the smell of a tray of sandwiches, left in the car overnight…

Read more

Pukin In Lucan

Posted: June 23, 2016 at 9:32 pm

  The moment Sproner set the table on fire, the evening took a crooked turn at the Orange Shillelagh Pub. Where else would a college kid want to be on…

Read more

The Virgin Mary Gave Me The Finger

Posted: June 13, 2016 at 9:32 pm

  Did she wave at me? She may have waved at me. That nice Jewish girl, on the hill, I think she waved at me. Too bad she’s a statue…

Read more

Like A Virgin

Posted: May 26, 2016 at 9:48 am

  There's Madonna, and there's the Madonna. On a European vacation, parents feel the compulsion to take their children into the hushed and extinguished-candle-smelling confines of major churches. Every child…

Read more

Feeling A Little Query

Posted: May 13, 2016 at 11:18 am

  People have been saying to me, “It’s been THREE years! When are you going to finish your book?” When they say “book” they do the air-quote thing with their…

Read more